After so many years, I still can't pinpoint what it is, but there's something about the idea of forever that I can't help but be skeptical about. And a bit scared.

The idea that you can meet someone in your 20s, marry by your 30s, and spend the next 50/60 years together seems so unachievable. Especially with the way the world is today, it almost seems like you deserve a trophy if you make it 20 years.

So instead I just bury everything, hide from it all, and pray that God will just dangle someone in front of me when all is right. So please God, dangle.

what a friggin bad day.

maybe

maybe I have cooked up an image in my head of what I hope for you to be.
maybe I'm trying to change you into somebody else.
maybe I really am wrong.